For far to long, introverts have been confused with being shy. I can say for sure that they are two very different things. Throughout my life, I have been labeled as shy. For some parts of my life this label has been true to me. But there was a point when I was getting labeled this just because I kept to my self more than others. At this point in my life right now, I can say that I am only partly shy to certain things, but not to everyone. I am here to give some insight on the differences between being an introvert and shy because I am qualified.
First, I am going to start with being shy. I would say that being shy is characterized by fear. I’ve mentioned this partially in another blog, but being shy comes mainly from being afraid of saying the wrong thing or coming off the wrong way. Or even a lack of confidence socially. It can stem from low self esteem and many other things. But being shy is not an introvert thing.
Introverts on the other hand are not afraid of communication. We just like to keep to ourselves. I am not the type of person who will just talk just to talk. I also do not like small talk one bit but I do it to make other people comfortable not myself. This still doesn’t mean I am shy, it just means that some things are more important to me than talking about how the weather was today. Extroverts need to see that I just don’t feel like it. Maybe you call it lazy but I call it lack of interest in pointless conversations. Then again I do realize that sometimes this can come off as rude to people who do not understand it. Heck, I’ve even come into contact with someone who acted like this to me and I felt some type of way. But the thing is I understood it. I did not judge it to harshly.
Introvert and shyness can be confused because a lot of times the world makes us feel like we have to be both. It’s almost like self fulfilling prophecy except it is other people that impose ideas upon us. Everyone always told me I was shy, so I felt that was my identity. I felt that I would always be that and nothing else. Even today my mom called me shy, but I haven’t felt shy in months.
Another reason I feel that a lot of introverts end up shy is because this world is made for extroverts. Extroverts that don’t understand can really dampen our confidence. Growing up in a place where you feel like you don’t belong can be a big factor.
To me, shyness is a feeling not a personality trait. It doesn’t always stay with you. It can’t be decided based off of looking at someone and seeing that they don’t talk as much as most people. Telling people that the reason that they are quite is because they are shy will only trick them into thinking they are shy. I feel like everyone is shy some time or another. Depending on who they are talking to. Another way to define being shy, is being nervous to talk to someone. Whether that be a boy or girl, job interview, new environment, anyone can be shy when they are unsure of something.
Also I recently started posting on my advice and journal entry pages… check them out if you like thx.
An introverts Blog 